The kigu, the secret

(Title by kind indifference of Urban Cookie Collective)

Kigus are animal costumes inspired by Japanese kigurumi, performers who dress as cuddly toys.  They're fuzzy onesies with hoods and tails.  They're also machine washable, and perfect for every occasion.  I have the dinosaur.

I've spent quite a bit of time trying and failing to work out what kind of dinosaur I am.  I mean, it is. Obviously.  Ahem.  I suppose the hood is disproportionately large compared to the head - does that make it a pachycephalosaurus?  It has little spikes down the back, so it could be a stegosaurus.  Then again, those genera are both herbivores: what would they do with the pointy teeth?  I'd hate to live in a world where people didn't worry about these things.  Classify me?

I've worn my kigu to restaurants, pubs, birthday parties and burlesque Hallowe'en balls.  I've lazed around in it, I've washed the dishes in it, I've danced in it and I've even written the first 163 words of a blog post in it.  Have I learned anything from these experiences?  No, with the possible exception of finding out exactly how much drunk people like furry dinosaurs.  It's like being a dinosaur in nymphoid barbarian hell.  Seriously, it's just fun to wear.  There's nothing you can't improve by doing it dressed as a dinosaur.  It even comes with its own theme song.

Finally acquiring a tail without having to wait for those genetic science dullards to catch up (STILL trying to cure cancer?!) has changed my life for the better.  I think I must be ahead of the dinosaur curve: I've already considered evolving into a bird kigu.  I might be there already if my girlfriend hadn't sneakily bought herself the penguin.

I remember when dressing up was just dressing up.  Cosplay ('costume play') and yiffing ('please don't ever ask') hadn't been invented by the furry fandom ('oh good lord people actually call themselves that').   Instead of googling those terrifying terms, just do yourself a favour and spend £40 on your very own kigu.  But make sure you only use your formidable new powers for good.