Will the Home Internationals never die?

26 years ago, the football associations of England, Wales, Northern Ireland and Scotland got together and did something unique throughout their respective histories. They made a sensible, laudable decision - albeit, sadly, a revocable one. They scrapped the annual four-team travelling riot that saw second-string international players jog around drunkenly once the football season had finished. They killed the Home Internationals. No-one mourned. Now "the fans" (translation: the tabloid press and Vauxhall, England's new team sponsor) seem to want them resurrected. Just like Buffy.

The stadia might be full - particularly important in Wembley's case, since the FA will be paying for its construction until the next ice age (give or take). England losing a match would briefly make the news. The Six Nations is a fantastic tournament. That's all the upside I can think of.

The Six Nations is one of my favourite sporting events, partly because of the spirit in which the games are played and watched. Rugby fans can be trusted with tribalism. Football fans can't. Just this week, Northern Irish fans have been busy posting bullets to Northern Irish Catholics playing for Celtic. Neil Lennon gets more death threats than Obama. West Ham, Cardiff and Birmingham have played host to serious crowd trouble lately. You can only blame extreme right-wing infiltrators so many times: at some point, you have to accept that British and Irish men behave very stupidly in big inebriated groups. And not just in karaoke bars.

The current proposal is for a one-off six game tournament to take place in summer 2013 to commemorate the FA's 150th anniversary. Why they can't just buy themselves a big cake, I honestly don't know. That's what I'll be doing on my 150th anniversary (don't fail me now, Aubrey de Grey). 173% marzipan, baby. Anyway. If it only happens once, fine. But this will only exacerbate the pressure to restore it as a permanent fixture (or six). And God help us all if they decide to include the Republic of Ireland in an attempt to replace the nascent Carling Nations Cup - remember England's 1995 "friendly" at Lansdowne Road?

The Home Internationals are famous for one thing. Shitfaced Scottish morons ripping up turf and breaking a piece of wood. No-one remembers any of the matches.

Playing other poor teams won't help anyone improve. Top players won't turn up; those that play will get injured. Summer is for other sports. Note to football: give us a break.